Girly Talk: Beware the up-skirt perverts with camera phones

Hi Girls!

Kerry Courtina – The party Queen of Liverpool – here with some important advice.

It’s summertime, and summertime means warm sunny days and warm sunny days mean summer skirts. I don’t know about you girls, but the skirts in my summer wardrobe all tend to be on the short side! Short skirts are fun in the summer sun!

In the past I’ve warned you about the dangers of wind blowing up your skirt, and that danger still exists, but in the summer, where our skirts are shorter and wearing hosiery is less common, there is the danger of dirty perverted men and their mobile camera phones pointing up our skirt and taking a photo of our knickers.

This perversion was born in Japan, its common name around the world is flashypantyclickclick and it involves the pervert positioning their mobile phone so they can take a picture of up your skirt, and then taking it. It’s a massive invasion of our privacy and isn’t tolerated anywhere in the world, apart from Australia because they’re all sluts. Indeed Flash-a-gash ‘08 was held back in March. 4,560 ladies turned up to take part and the event was won by a 31 year old IT consultant from Brisbane called Matt. He managed to take 430 high quality photos in the alloted time. He won the latest camera phone, 75 Australian Dollars and a pair of golden knickers.

I don’t know about you, but there is no way i’m giving up wearing my summer skirts. So what can us girls do to stop perverts having a kodak moment with our knickers? Vigilance is probably the best defence. Keep an eye out for dodgy looking men and lesbians who have their phone in their hand and look like they could click at any moment. Take special precautions with Japanese men because nearly 100% of these Japanese perverts take these photos every day!

The recent trend of going commando gives these pervos more will to get their naughty snap too. So don’t go all Britney on womankind. Either learn how to protect your skirt-gap properly, or always wear sensible knickers.

The only way we girls can stop these pervs from taking photos of our knickers is to watch out for it and report it to the police if we see it. Better still, phone the up-skirt invasion hotline on 0891 6950505069888. You can report flashypantyclickclick invasion in confidence and the pervert in question will get vigilante justice, rather than the overrated justice handed out by the police.

Come on girls. Say no to upskirt panty camera phone photos. We don’t have to live with it so remember. Keep a look out, and if you hear a suspicious click, don’t hesitate to kick him in the dick. Say that to yourself every time you go outside with a skirt on. Remember “If you hear a suspicious click, don’t hesitate to kick him in the dick”. If it turns out to be an innocent click he’ll understand. If he doesn’t he’s probably one but just not on that day. It may be best to offer him a feel to keep him sweet incase he threatens to report you for assault though.

Right. I’m off to appear on Celebrity Caesarean. I’m getting £50,000 for the show and got impregnated for free. I have such a crazy and glamourous life. See you later!! Mwwwah!