[A train with smashed windows shoots out of a tunnel. An angry man is stood next to the tunnel. After the train passes he begins to speak]
Kids nowadays think its funny to throw bricks at moving vechicles such as Trains and Aeroplanes. Well, lads. if you find bricking a train funny then you must find needless death funny.
To help combat Needless Death through Bricking Public Transport (NDBPT syndrome) the Government have passed new laws to deal with those who spread NDBPT – or Brick Whazzos as they’re known in medical circles.
The new law, known as Branson’s Law, comes into affect from this second and means that anyone caught bricking a train will no longer receive the standard “telling off by a station master and his cat” punishment. Instead they’ll be sent to a high security Kiln in Sheffield where they’ll make enough bricks to build a to-scale replica of a British Rail Intercity 125 with 7 carriges. They will then take these bricks to South Wales where they’ll create their replica of a train on a big muddy hill where it always rains. Then they’ll throw themselves against every rock-window on the replica train. It sounds painful, doesn’t it. Guess what? It bloody is painful.
So Lads, Next time you try and hurl that brick towards a train, or use your catapult to launch one against a plane. Remember, get caught and you’ll be cooking, transporting, building and then throwing yourself against a replica of an Intercity 125 train. Does that sound fun? No it bloody doesn’t. So stop throwing things against trains and planes you little sods.
[Angry man walks up the rail embankment as another fast train passes. On the side of the train it says "Ten Thousand Bricks for just One Brick. Keep your brick to yourself"]
